things that go bump in the night...

It's been kind of a long day. i have to admit, that i've been a wee bit crabby for the past quarter of it. Totally my bad too. I need to stop being so damned moody.
I had a lot of things to get done today, and had to work the first portion of it. By the time i got off at one and was able to get crackin' on my cyanotype project i was already freaking exhausted. I f*cked up two of my cyanotypes... not sure exactly what happened to them, but they were hella underexposed compared to the first two which i swear i had exposed for the same amount of time... i don't know. I have to go back in tomorrow and try to redo them in time for class at 4. not that stressful, it's just an extra pain in my ass that i don't really need much. *sigh*
i spent a lot of the weekend around family which was a nice change of pace.

For some reason being around family is such a low-stress thing. i mean extended family by the way, when my siblings start to squabble or my mom starts to get pissy... not such a friendly atmosphere. Being around cousins and aunts and uncles is low-key. maybe it's just because i never really get to see them much. *shrugs*
anyway.. the photograph is out at my friend/cousins' (not actually related...) home. Their patio light was illuminating the chair and table surrounded by leaves so nicely.
it reminded me of when i was little and we would play games in the backyard. you know, the usual, freeze tag and such.
One of my favourite games was in the evening during summer... at least up until it started to get too cold. my siblings and i would play out on the back porch. I don't even know what to call the game we'd play, but there was an apple tree in the middle of our backyard that kind of marked the border-line of where the light on the porch could reach.
we would go running into the dark half of our backyard, stand for a few seconds, then scream and come running back to the patio as though monsters were chasing us back. I imagine there was some ridiculous purpose to the game at one point, i just don't happen to remember it.
probably just to have the opportunity to scream our lungs out in the early evening. I bet our neighbors wanted to murder us at times.

It's one of those memories that sticks with me though.
Running out into the dark and unknown, away from the safe and familiar porch...
only to turn around and come back again.

I've been gravitating to the familiar much too much lately i'm afraid. I don't have an adventuresome spirit as i wish i did. I really need to take the leap of faith. Move away. Try something different. Something new. Take chances. There's so many thrilling things to experience and i can't seem to persuade myself to venture away from what i know...

PS: i took that photo with my cell phone.
i know, it's kind of a bad-ass phone.